Help:  My Children Aren’t Perfect !

Guess What?  All of our children are Perfectly Imperfect:  What makes the difference is having the right tools to support ‘Good Enough’ Parents to raise secure kids for the real world.

Just because you are reading this column, means that there are some things I know about you already .  You want to do a better job of parenting.  You want to end the conflicts with children that make life at home harder on everyone. You want to stop the fighting between the kids.

PsychEquip is a private psychology practice in Hamilton, Brisbane where we aim to teach you how to practice positive parenting.  We subscribe to a branch of psychology called  attachment based parenting which has been getting great results both in Australia and overseas.  It provides practical parenting skills to manage conflicts within members of the family and the skills to negotiate the outcomes you want from your children.  Positive parenting leads to more secure bonds between parents and children, better healing from past and future traumas,  more tolerance to overcome disappointments and, best of all, creates children that can find their own place in the world more securely.

When we see a family for counselling, we will talk a lot about techniques for behaviour management and disciplining children.  You will learn my favourite tactics such as  the 1-2-3 Magic technique, the benefits of  Triple P training and the use of a framework known as the Circle of Security that you can use to shape your behaviour with your kids and how they in turn respond to you.  We’ll draw strongly on the great work of John Bowlby, Dr Dan Seigal and Steve Biddulph amongst others by learning practical tips that you can take home and use that day.

There are many stressful times in a parent / child relationship. There is the terrible twos, the toddler years, toilet training, dealing with teenagers, coping with the internet, cyber bullying, school yard bullies and divorce. There is also the challenge of seeing your child transition over the cusp of adulthood and become a sexual being. How does that affect your relationship with your child?  How can you best give a child advice about sex? How can you talk to your son or daughter in a way that will matter?

At PsychEquip, we want to keep it real. We can talk about the difficult issues.  Perhaps you resent your children from time to time? Or that sometimes as a parent you really don’t know what you’re doing and it scares you.  Did you know that – and much, much more – is a normal  part of being human.  What matters is how you allow these thoughts to affect your behaviour.  If you build a strong relationship with your child, you are establishing a secure base that you can both return to as a refuge when times are difficult . That is what gets you through.